Today I would like to tell you about something that my two girls pointed out to me recently.
Maja and Ida both came into our family as adult dogs when they were about 3 years old and therefore have a past. And both of them have told me how little they appreciate it when I define them by their past when I introduce them. That’s why I’m not mentioning theirs here now 😉 But I think you know what they mean. This is xy, she’s from Romania, lived on the street there. Or something similar.
That wouldn’t be important anymore and that wouldn’t even be what defines her! And every time we introduce our animals like this, we activate their past again, we reduce them a little to what they experienced before, they say. It would be completely enough to say that these are Ida and Maja, they came to us when they were 3 years old. Full stop. That’s all that’s important.
Oops, I felt like I’d been caught out, but they’re absolutely right. In almost all cases it is of no use to the further conversation that the other person knows what they have previously experienced.
There is another aspect that the animals tell me again and again in our communications. We are limiting them in their development! “Yes, she’s a scared dog because she doesn’t know anything…” If we keep saying and thinking this, then we are actually keeping our animal stuck in this fear. We are not opening up any space for this to really change. If we keep repeating the problems it has brought with it from its past, then we are effectively cementing these problems. Our animal then remains the problem animal.
Instead, our animals want us to emphasise the positive things they have already mastered. Yes, she sometimes has fears, but she is now so brave in these and those situations. This encourages the animal and we also change our own perspective and see the progress. How much nicer it is when we proudly report on our pet than when we focus on its weaknesses.
Perhaps take a look at yourself and see what you tell others about your pet. We often do this quite unconsciously and without any malicious intent. And yet it has an effect. On you and your pet.
Love and light to you and your animals
Tanja