A few weeks ago, I talked about the power of accepting what is. That was about illness. When I posted an answer from my Ida on Facebook on Sunday about “how we can help with fears”, I realised once again how much broader this topic is. And also how often exactly this acceptance has already helped the animals in a conversation. Ida had said: “When I’m scared, it helps me when Tanja understands me, when I’m allowed to behave in a way that helps me.”

It is so good for the animals if we simply consciously recognise and accept what is currently happening. 
To help me realise this myself, I had an incident with my husband. I told him something and he immediately started explaining and arguing. I realised that I was becoming increasingly tense and irritable. It wasn’t anything important at all.Until I realized that I just wished he had said: Yes, that’s really stupid and thereby acknowledged my feelings and my anger. When he understood and did that, everything in me immediately relaxed and I was then open to all other arguments. And yes, I then realized how pointless my anger was. 😉
And then I realised that we always automatically look for solutions when someone tells us about something. We immediately want to help, do something, change something, be there for the other person and support them. I feel the same way. When I see that a person or animal I care about is facing a challenge, I want to take action immediately.

But once you check in with yourself, that’s not what you want and what helps you. You want the other person to understand what’s going on with you, to acknowledge what you’re feeling and let it be there. Without changing it. This immediately brings relaxation. Because otherwise we feel like we have to justify ourselves and that what we’re feeling right now isn’t right.

And the same goes for animals. If I listen to them without bias and first try to understand what they are actually feeling in a situation, how they are feeling, what is bothering them and just let it be there without immediately thinking of possible solutions, then it helps them so much! Quite often they change their behavior after just one conversation, without their person having changed anything. Simply because they were seen, because what they were experiencing was acknowledged. And from there, we can then think together about what would help and how we can provide support.

If they are afraid, it doesn’t help to say, you don’t have to be afraid, everything is fine. But it helps if we understand that they are afraid because the situation is challenging. Or if your animal is excited in certain situations, it will be good for him if you accept that he may need physical movement. If you don’t tell it to please calm down, but you feel that it can’t do anything else right now. Whenever we desire different behavior, it creates pressure. Because we reject the feelings and behavior in the moment. After all, we realise that it is not doing well. But it prevents the relaxation in the system that always happens when we accept and recognise what is actually happening. 

So try to be mindful and recognise and allow what is there to be. And then offer your support.

Love and light to you and your animals